Erna (Urna)Cram Davis

My mother, Erna Cram, was born February 18th 1905 in Provo, Utah. She was the first child of Mark W. Cram and Rose Mariah Stoney.  I believe that she was born before my grandfather graduated from Brigham Young Academy (Now known as Brigham Young University.) She was a precocious child and could recite at two years old. She loved to sing and to entertain .  She had four younger sisters: LaRue, Revo, Faye and Marva.  She had no brothers.  When she was very young they moved to Ogden where Grandpa got a teaching job.  Ogden was home to her and she kept in touch with her childhood friend her whole life.  Mother told me she had 100 first cousins! 

When Mom was about 20 years old Grandpa got a new job for the Southern Pacific Railroad Company. He moved the family to Sacramento, California. I understand that when mom was young she was a little rebellious.  Shortly after the family settled in Sacramento Mom decided to move to San Francisco.  I’m sure her parents were not happy about this decision.  She hitch hiked to ‘the City’ and found an apartment and a job in a Five and Dime store. 

While working in the Five and Dime she met my father.  He worked with her.  Dad was not a member of our church.  Their song was,  "A Million Dollar Baby from the Five and ten Cent Store" They were married in Sacramento and settled there.  I’m sure that Grandma and Grandpa were happy to have her close again.  I don’t know a lot about their first few years of marriage.  I do know that it was the depression and dad had a hard time finding work. He finally got a job with the Southern Pacific Railroad.  I’m sure Grandpa had something to do with that. Dad worked there his whole life until he retired. 

I remember Mother telling me about a time when she was directing the Stake Roadshow.  She was a good director, poet and artist.  She was very supportive of my Dad’s interest in acting.  He was in many community theater plays.

During most of my growing up years my mother had to work.  She had many different jobs, mostly part time.  Once she worked demonstrating food in grocery stores. Once she worked for the Greyhound Bus Company. She would distribute pillows to the customers.  She had a uniform and I remember being quite impressed with that.  Whatever job she had she always made sure she was home whenever we were. She was there to cook most of the time and there to put us to bed and greet us from school.  I don’t know how she did it but I never felt like I had a mom who was gone all the time. I am sure Joanne and Paula, my two older sisters were a great help to her.

Mom always had lots of friends.  She was everyone’s confidant.  She could keep a secret so well that people would tell her all their troubles.  She never talked about what was told her in confidence.  She also was a person who came to people’s aid.  Mother was very wise and people sought her out for her advice. We had a neighbor who was her good friend.  Her name was Dottie Smith.  She was like an aunt to me. 

Mom had a great sense of humor and when she laughed it was like music.  She could remember so many of her recitations from when she was little and she taught some of them to her children.  Some of you still recite “The Little Pie.”  Mom taught that to me and I taught it to my kids.  My mom could remember the words to every song of her day.  She taught us all her songs and we have been singing them ever since.  Dad would play the piano and Mom would sing.  She had a lovely alto voice.

My mother was a great mother.  She taught all of us the Gospel and listened and counseled with us when we needed it.  She sang to us and nurtured us and giggled with us.  Whenever I was sick or had to stay home from school she would bring me a present…I remember the paperdolls the most.  She loved to play games and we would often sit around the dining room table in the evening and play games with her and Dad.  They would come out and sit on the front porch and watch us play in the evenings when it was hot.  !

My mother struggled with depression.  She also had a very hard time during her Menopause.  She miscarried at that time and that was very hard for her.  She had a friend who was going through a bad time with a new marriage and ask Mom to take her little girl to raise .  It was fun for us to have a new little sister.  She was ten when I was 15.  After about a year the woman just showed up one day and took the child back.  It was difficult for my Mom. 
 

When I was in High School mom would help me with my lines for the school play.  She also coached me on the speech I had to give for a State contest.  I always knew I could ask her and she would help me with anything I needed.   She always had good advice when it came to relationships.  She taught me my love of reading.  When we were children we had a large set of “Child Craft Books.”  She would read to us from those books and later encourage us to read them ourselves.  We were all so loved.  I think I had the happiest childhood of anyone I knew.

 

 

More on Grandpa Cram

Grandpa Mark W.Cram was the first stake president of the Sacramento Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  As I was growing up he was my stake president.  Sacramento Stake went from Gridley on the North to Placerville on the East to Vacaville on the west and to Fresno on the south. Just in Sacramento alone their are many stakes in the present day, not to mention many more in the other areas of California where he once served. 

Grandpa learned to drive in his 50's so he could visit all the wards and districts in the stake boundries.  Some time after my grandma died my grandfather was called on a mission to New York .  He was in the Hill Cummorah Pageant and played the part of a Lamanite Chief.  He met his second wife and my second Grandmother in New York while on his mission. Her name was Ethel Bushy Pike Cram.  She had never had any children but she was a wonderful grandma to a lot of us.  Most of my cousins never knew my Grandma Rose and she was the only grandma they knew.

Grandpa always loved children.  They were some of his favorite people.  He would bounce all the babies on his knees and sing them funny songs. Once when we went to visit Grandpa when Jay was about eight Jay and grandpa got in a big discussion about who discovered gold. Jay had been studying about it in school so he was sure his information was correct and Grandpa had his own ideas.  They were very much enjoying their discussion when I interrupted to tell Jay he shouldn't argue with his grandpa.  Grandpa looked all sheepish and said what a good boy he was, and offered him a little Book of Mormon from his mission.  I think Grandpa loved a good 'discussion' just about better than anything.?"

Mom told me about a time she and my grandpa were arguing about where the bus stopped.  She got so frustrated that she called the bus terminal and when the lady had told her where the bus stopped, she handed the phone to grandpa.  After  listening for a few moments he hung up the phone and stated "She doesn't know what she's talking about!"

He and Grandma Ethel were snow birds.  They spent many winters in Mesa doing Genealogy

and working in the Mesa Temple. When they were home I would often spend the week end with them. They still lived in the home on Marshall Way in Sacramento where I had visited when my Grandma Rose was alive. Grandpa showed me my first pedigree chart and helped me gain my love for Family History Work.  When I was dating my sweetheart I brought him over to meet my grandparents.  While I was in the kitchen talking to Grandpa, Larry told Grandma Ethel that when he went on his mission he wanted to come back and marry me.  He told her to save me for him.  Every time I would talk about another boy Grandma would remind me of Larry.  She took what he said to her very much to heart and even though I kept denying that I was waiting for him she would keep saying "We'll see when Larry gets home."

When Larry and I were first married we would often ask Grandpa for advice.  He would give us some suggestions and then always end by saying that we needed to pray about it and he was sure we would be directed.  He said he wasn't entitled to inspiration for us but we were. He always had very wise council for us though.



Grandpa was nearly blind by the time he was in his late eighty's.  He never lost his sharp mind or his sense of humor.  He was faithful to the end.  I remember going over to see him one Sunday and Grandma Ethel told me he was out Home Teaching.  I think he was in his ninety's then.  He was a great example to all his posterity of faithfulness to the Gospel all his life.  I love my Grandpa so much and I still hope I can be like him when I grow up!

Grandpa John Davis

My dad's father was born in Scotland.  Dad recalled that he had a strong Scottish brogue.  He called my dad Laddie and my aunt Maude Lassie.  He talked very little about his past.  He was a short stocky man, probably 5 ft. 8 ins. tall.  He had a moustache.  What little we know about grandpas life before he married my Grandmother we have gleaned from an article written about him when he was a mill owner in Arcata.  He told the family that he learned the tanning trade as an apprentice in Edinbourough, Scotland when he was a boy.  He also said that his family was poor and had many children.  He ran away when he was still young and sailed on a ship from Edinbourough.

He also mentioned sailing from Scotland to Australia and the Sandwich islands( Hawaii) before he went to Canada and then to California. He married my Grandmother when he was 50 and she was 20.  He loved her very much and bought her a lovely home, completely furnished.

At one point he bought his own Tanning Mill in Arcata something like the one depicted. He was quite wealthy at the time and was able to take care of his young family well.  He was a kind man and very affectionate with his children.

John Davis was known as an honest man.  His word was his bond, and if he shook hands on any deal it was considered binding to anyone he dealt with.


Grandpa smoked a pipe and Dad remembers when he picked it up to play with it as a child and was disciplined for that.  He knew after that to never touch Grandpa's pipe. Because of his pipe smoking he contracted Cancer of the mouth.  He eventually died of Cancer after a long illness. 

Grandma Davis

 My Dad's mother was Almira Maud Drake Davis.  I was two years old when she died so I don't remember her at all.  My Dad told me a few things about my grandma that would be fun to relate. Daddy said that when he was young he slept in the attic in their home in Arcata.  It was cold up there as the heat for the house came from the stove in the kitchen.  He would listen every morning to see if he could hear his mother moving around in the kitchen.  He could hear the clanking of the stove door if she was up. He would dress under the covers and slip out of bed and run for the kitchen if he heard her.  He said she often had terrible migraine headaches and would be in bed for days. On those days he would dress warm and go down to the kitchen and start the fire in the stove if his sister hadn't done it yet. Since he was the only boy in the family he would have also chopped all the wood and stacked it. Dad just had one sister who was 8yrs older than he was.  Her name was Maude Elizabeth Davis.

My Dad's father died when Dad was seven years old.  Since Grandma had spent every dollar of their money on Drs. she had to support the family by taking in sewing.  In those days you couldn't just go to the store and buy a dress, you had to have a seamstress make it for you.  Ladies would just show her a picture of what they wanted in a magazine and grandma would make the pattern and sew up the dress.  Dad said that often she would just measure the woman and throw the pattern paper on the floor and draw the pattern.  She made a very good living being a seamstress. 

                          Grandma Davis was only 4 ft. 8 inches tall. She was very thin and dainty.   Dad said her dinner plate was a bread saucer. She would put a small spoonful of each item on the saucer and that would be her dinner. She was a very religious woman.  The family attended the same church until my Aunt Maude (Dad's Sister ) died.  . I think it was the Methodist Church. When my Dad was young she belonged to the Temperance Movement.

                         Grandpa and Grandma got married when he was 50 yrs. old and she was 20.  He was a partner in the ownership of a Tanning mill.  When he bought her the house in Arcata he furnished it completely down to all the linens and decorations before he moved her into it.   

                   

Grandma Rose Mariah Stoney Cram

Grandma Cram died when I was  7 yrs. old and yet I have many memories of her.  I only remember a few stories from her youth.  Grandma was the youngest daughter in a large family.  Her oldest sister was just a baby when my great Grandpa Robert Stoney and his wife Sarah Jakeman came across the plains into Utah.  (You can find his notes from that trip on LDS.ORG.) My grandma had a flare for the dramatic.  She went to college and got her teaching degree.  She taught Elocution.  She was very good at giving dramatic readings.  She had one about an Indian princess named Urna.  That is where she got the name for my Mother. When I was a little child I remember going over to visit my Grandma.  She would play cars with us on their front room rug.  It was a large oriental designed rug.  We would drive the cars around the patterns. Sometimes we would play marbles too. She also played games with us on her big dining room table.  We played "Cootie" and "Checkers", and "Pick up Sticks" She had a large buffet in the dining room.  We loved when she would go over to the buffet and tap the bottom drawer with her foot.  Smiling she would say " I wonder what's in here?"  We would all come running.  You never knew what to expect, but it was always something yummy!  Sometimes it was peppermint candies (white with a green center) or it might be her famous cheese straws. (pie crust sticks baked with cheese in them,) or it could be her 'garbage cookies'.... We have tried for years to duplicate those cookies.  She said she called them that because she put everything sweet in them that she found leftover in the icebox.

 I loved grandma's kitchen.  It always smelled so good.  She had a wood stove to cook on, and a ice box.  We loved it when we got to watch the iceman make his delivery.  Some times he would give us slivers of ice to suck on. He had a leather pad on his shoulder. It was used to carry the ice.  He would grab the ice with big metal tongs. Then he would sling the block of ice up onto the leather pad on his shoulder to carry it into the house.  Grandma was always singing or humming as she worked.  She smelled good and she always made us feel loved.  She had a root cellar on her service porch. There was a hatch in the floor .  It was a door that led to the root cellar.  Sometimes she would send my brother down for some fruit or potatoes.  I wasn't allowed in the root cellar, I didn't really want to go down that dark hole with spiders' webs. 

I remember one time when she took me to the Five and Dime store with her.  She needed some powder.  She showed me all the beauty supplies and then purchased a compact with powder in it.  I felt so big.  Walking back home with her hand in mine I knew I was loved.

We always went to Grandma and Grandpa's for Thanksgiving.  Grandma would always seem so happy to have all her family around her.  She would tease Grandpa and make him laugh. She always sent us home with pudding  for my Daddy.  She knew he loved it and since my mom often brought the pies she would make the pudding for Daddy extra.

When my Grandma was dying my mom took me over to see her.  She said Grandma wanted to see me so I went into her bedroom and sat on the edge of her bed.  Grandma took my hand with her frail one and looked me in the eyes and told me that I should never be afraid of dying.  She told me of her faith in our Heavenly Father and that she knew she would see him.  She told me to be good. I will never forget that experience. As I was growing up my mother would always remind me that Grandma was watching over me.  I wanted to be a good little girl for my Grandma.
 

 

Grandpa Cram

 

Before I finish blogging about my life I feel the need to mention some of the stories I have heard my parents tell concerning my grandparents.  Let's start with my mothers family.  I heard many stories of my grandfather and his brothers when they were young.  They lived in Utah and were tall boys and men.  Grandpa ( Mark W. Cram) and his brother Victor Cram lived in a much wilder time than what we are used to. Part of his young life he lived in the colonies in Mexico. As young men they carried guns.  Uncle Vic was a pony express rider in his twenties. Of course they had horses and horse and buggy was what they learned to drive as teenagers. Grandpa told the story of driving into the farm yard a little too fast in the buggy and overturning
it. Sounds like some of the stunts my boys did but they were in Cars! Grandpa went to Brigham Young Academy and graduated as a teacher.  While there he played basketball.  He told me he that he was one of the students who put the first Y on the mountain.

 He also was a referee for girls basketball games and that is how he met my grandmother.( Rose Mariah Stoney)  He was refereeing her game and called a number of fouls on her during the game.  My Great grandmother(Sarah Jakeman )heard of it and being the feisty little Englishwoman that she was (not even 5 ft. tall) she was spitin' mad at that referee.  Grandmother, of course, took it in stride, especially as Grandpa asked her if he could call on her.  The next day when he came to the house to see her, great grandma tried to run him off the property with a broom.  It must not have stopped him because Grandma and Grandpa ended up getting married.



After graduation Grandpa took a job working as a teacher in Ogden, Utah.  He taught Wood Shop.  He loved making things with wood.  He made Guitars, and Ukeleles.  He even made a small half round table with the head of an Indian carved into the top. We all loved that table.  We grew up with it in our house.  Paula ended up with it and had it for years in her front hall.  Grandpa never liked that table because he had carved the Indian facing the wall instead of facing outward.

I remember Grandpa bouncing me on his knee when I was little.  He would sing "I went in the hen house on my knees, and there I saw a chicken sneeze.  He sneezed so hard with the whooping cough, he sneezed his head and his tail right off!" As he sang he would bounce me from one knee to the other. Oh how we loved our grandpa.  He was a sweet loving man who loved his family and who loved the lord.

My Sister Paula

It was really great having an older sister. When I was little it was so much fun getting into her makeup, or playing 'Kid' with Helen, which was our way of pretending to be her, or watching her as she brushed her hair and made faces at herself in the mirror as she put on her make up. I loved to ease drop when she had a boy friend over or when she was giggling with her friends. To her I was just a little pest. She had to baby sit Helen and I and get us to bed and tell us stories.

When I turned 12 and started going to mutual, she was nearly 18 and so only had a few months until she was out of Mutual. The first evening I was going to go we were taking a bus to the church. The only change mom had was a dime and ten pennies. Of course Paula took the dime and left me with the ten pennies. As we were walking to the bus she told me not to sit with her and not to embarase her! Since I rode the bus so seldom, I wasn't sure if I should just dump all the pennies in or drop them one by one so the driver could count them. I opted for the latter idea and carefully dropped each penny into the change meter which made a loud ding with each penny. As each coin dropped in, Paula sank deeper into her seat. Poor girl, she should have taken the pennies!

In her mind she thought she had treated me awful as a child. I didn't think so as I idolized her. Once she was married and I was a much less obnoxious 15 years old, she loved having me around and constantly tried to make up to me all the supposed wrongs she had commited against me. She would invite me to her house in San Francisco each week end. Since Daddy worked for the railroad we could ride the train for free so I often got to go and spend the week end with her. When I would visit she would spoil me. She was a great listener and a great counselor. She was also fun and funny and I always felt her love and knew that she loved me. She would tell me that she was always so excited for me to come and then so excited for me to go!

Paula and I were great friends. I still idolize her a bit. When ever I had a problem I would call her and she would have the answers I needed. I still miss being able to call her and tell her my problems. It was great to know someone cared so much.

In my mind Paula will always be my glamorous older sister, after all she was a beauty pageant winner and how many little sisters can say that!

Ardie and Helen

Helen and I have always been very close. As children we were inseparable and reading our histories is almost like reading the same story. In our teen years we were just as close as we were in our childhood but, because we moved from 8th ave to 18th and I street when Helen was 13, we attended different Jr.High schools. I finished up at Stanford and Helen went to Sutter Jr. High after a year at Stanford. We were always best friends and we shared everything , even our clothes.

When we were teens we made money babysitting and mowing lawns and I even had a job at a Dime Store. When we bought clothes we shared them since we wore the same size. We couldn't wear each others shoes though, my feet were always two sizes bigger than hers. When she got married we had to devide our wardrobe, it was hard to remember who bought what so we just sorted it out. It felt like I had nothing to wear! I'll bet she felt the same.

We moved again so we both attended Sacramento High School at the same time. Since she was a year and a half behind me in school and because we had different Jr. High friends we weren't as close in High School, at least not at school. We did go together to the Saturday Night Dances and to Firesides and other church activities. Helen was so cute and flirty that she always stole all my boyfriends (or so I thought.) Because of our rivalry mom made a rule that if one of us had dated a boy we had to get the ok from our sister to date the same boy. I seem to remember giving Helen a hard time about giving the ok as I had dated Frank first. I wasn't the least bit interested in him, but it was so seldom that I had any power over her when it came to boys!

Speaking of Helen's flirtiness.... She was impossible to walk down town with. We would have guys in cars whistling and she would wave and smile and guys following us, it didn't bother her. I kept telling her it was dangerous. I would say just don't respond to them, but she could't help it...she just loved flirting! She would make me laugh so hard sometimes with her antics.
I wonder if she told this story what it would sound like?

Helen and I are still very close. We love the same things and enjoy many of the same activities. I just love to be with her and know that she is the best friend anyone ever had and we will always be best friends. Better than best friends, she is my sister!

Things My Mama Taught Me

My mom was my best friend. She taught me the gospel and helped me get my own testimony. I used to curl up in her lap and listen to her sing to me and teach me wonderful things. She told me the Joseph Smith story first before I had even heard it in Primary. She bore her testimony of the restoration of the Gospel to me. She was the one who instilled in me the importance of keeping the commandments. I learned how to pray at her knee. She helped me to understand how to listen for promptings and how important it was to follow them. She taught me about charity by word but more by her example. I have watched her help and counsel her friends and neighbors. I always knew that she would have good advice for me and loving suggestions whether I wanted to hear them or not.

I remember all my life her telling me to never talk about people unkindly or make fun of them. I never heard her gossip or speak ill of others. She was always a friend of the friendless and a shoulder to cry on, not just for her children but for others as well. She taught us at home to settle our differences lovingly. Of course we didn't always heed her advice.

When we children would get out of hand and things would overwhelm her she would just walk out of the house to go for a 'walk'. When mama left that way we always knew we had gone too far. We would quickly try to set things right so that when she came back we were all sweet and quiet. I heard from my older siblings that she had a very bad temper when she was a young mother. I never saw that side of her. She would just remove herself if she felt she was losing control.

My mom's advice was always good. I talked to her about everything. I told her when I felt picked on and I told her about my friends and arguments I had with my siblings. She was a good listener. Sometimes she would just ask me what I thought I should do about a certain problem I was telling her about. She would get me to solve my own problems.

One of the greatest heritages we got from our mother was our self esteem. She always loved us and made us feel that she approved of us. She taught us to make our own decisions and she taught us to value each other. Family loyalty was especially stressed. I think that feeling of self worth we Davis's all have in abundance is because of Mama.

I am so grateful for all my mother's teachings and all her love and all her great advice. I will never forget her wonderful laugh! I hope my children will remember me with as much love and gratitude as I remember my Mama!

Our Family 1961

Having three kids is the hardest time for a mother, ask anyone with over three kids. All of a sudden they out number you, and as you can see from the photo you can't hold all of them on one lap!

Sandra and Sherry were born only 10 months apart as Sandra was premature. Sherry wasn't walking yet and Jay was 3 and into everything! It was a busy and a happy time. I never wanted to be anything but a mother since I was 4 years old. I was ready, and I loved all the wonderful things about motherhood and I was learning how to cope with the hard parts and tollerate them.

Jay was such a fun and inquisitive three year old. One time I bought him some new argyle socks just like his dads. He loved them so much that he put them 'away' somewhere where neither he nor I could find them. I looked for months and finally gave up. When he was 4 yrs. old I found them. They were in an ironing board cabinet that was built into the wall. Right after we had given him the socks we had put the kitchen table in front of the cabinet to make more room in the kitchen. Of course they didn't fit him anymore and we only had little girls to hand them down to.

Sherry was the sweet quiet baby. She was our 'budda' baby, so chubby and cute. She had little ringlets, and always wore a smile. She was a thumb sucker. She learned to walk when Sandi was 3 months old. That was a relief! Now I only had to carry one baby, but I still had two in diapers. Remember, we didn't have dispossables in those days. Just like twins we had to have two of everything. Two cribs, two highchairs etc.

Sandra was born early and when we brought her home she weighed 5 lbs. Since Jay and Sherry who were no longer tiny, she seemed really small. At first she wouldn't take more that 2 ounces of milk and then 2 hours later she needed more. She woke up in the night forever!!! I'm not kidding, she probably still does! She was still waking me in the night when she was a year old. I finally just stopped getting up and as soon as she was big enough she would get up and raid the fridge! (That was before she was 18 months) We would find crumbs in her bed and pieces of food under her pillow every morning.

There is no greater joy nor any greater sacrifice than being a mother. I love and appreciate all my children and grandchildren for making that sacrifice. I know that they will be forever blessed for doing it. I know, because I have been and continue to be the most blessed of women.

Earning My Way

My first year of College I took a job as a waitress in a little Cafe in Sacramento. There were actually only 2 waitresses, myself and Maria. She was a short latino about a foot shorter than me. Everyone called us Mutt and Jeff. She was a professional waitress, she had been a waitress for about a million years and I was new at the business. I was grateful for her tutilege and we enjoyed each others company.

Several months later, realizing that I needed more money to save for the next semester and pay my expenses I took a job selling Sarah Coventry Jewlery. This was quite ironic as I had never worn jewelery. I found however that I was pretty good at selling and was able to nicely supplement my waitress wages. Of course I was still working on most week-ends playing gigs with my jazz combo.

By the second semester of school I found that something had to go as I was the paid assistant to the drama director and that meant many evenings of rehearsals. Since that brought in a little wages I dropped the waitress job. In a few months an opportunity came up for me to become the assistant to the Art teacher which also paid me some and I took on some modeling for art classes which also paid a little. I have no idea where I found time for homework but I did. I had actually gotten such good grades that I had qualified for a scholarship which had paid for all my tuition for that semester.

Beginning my second year I continued all of those jobs. That is what I was doing when Larry got home from his mission and we got married in November. Every available hour was taken with one of those jobs or the other, (and I was stake drama director in charge of roadshows.)

Larry just tagged along to my rehearsals, and even came to a Sarah Coventry Party once. He sat in on some of my combo rehearsals too, but soon he was busy with his own school and job.

After that semester I quit all my jobs but the music because I was pregnant and had morning sickness. ( I took my finals as I was running to the bathroom to be sick.) I was grateful that I had been able to put myself thru nearly 2 years of college, and what wonderful experiences I got as I earned my way to my MRS degree!

My Three Friends

When I started Jr. High I met my friend Lynn. Because we had been to different Grammar Schools this was the first time we met each other. Lynn was an only child and her parents were really cool. She had a rumpus room in her house with a pinball machine! She was in the orchestra with me. We had a lot of good times together. Lots of times I went over to her house after school. One time her mother signed us up for Charm School at a big department store. Lynn really didn't need it, but I did! We learned many things including how to walk like a lady. Boy did I need that. Between walking like a duck like Grandpa Cram and walking at a speed that wasn't only not lady like, but was unsafe,which I got from my Dad, I really needed help! We also learned how to sit and stand politely. That meant no throwing yourself in the chair and slouching, or crossing your legs, or spreading your legs. Every movement needed to be sloooww, a complete change from my usual 13 year old, boyish, fun loving self! I think the course helped me, I certainly never forgot it.

I also had a friend named Beverly. She loved to come to our house and she and my Dad got along great. They were always joking together. Beverly was usually quiet. She had suffered with Polio as a child and her mouth was pulled to one side. She was very sweet. At my house she was completely herself. One time I told her she should speak up and say when she had an opinion or something was bothering her around other people. She told me 40 years later that those words were very important to her and she eventually learned how to be more assertive.

My third friend in Jr High was Dee. Her real name was Darlo, but she went by Dee. She was outgoing and talented and fun. She had no trouble telling anyone her opinion! We mostly just hung out together at school. I don't think I ever met her family.

All three of my friends will always be special to me. You don't forget friends like they were. Dee and Beverly are gone now but I still get to see Lynn sometimes at school reunions. It is always such a pleasure being with her again. Dee and Beverly and I all got reaquainted in our 40's and stayed friends until they passed on. You don't think about it when you are young, but true friends are friends forever. They are part of who you are, and you will always be part of them.

Our Love Story

I believe in love at first sight. I know because I experienced it. I don't think it happens to everyone, but it happened to me. When I was 13 years old I saw Larry for the first time. He was asked by a bunch of the older girls in our ward to come and be in a play we were doing called "Miss Cherry Blossom". I was waiting for the first rehearsal to start when he walked in the room. It was as if time stood still as he walked into the cultural hall and strolled past me...really slow motion and everything. I just held my breath and stared starry eyed at him. I don't think anyone else noticed, after all I was just 13 and he was 17. My little, barely teenaged heart was taken! I didn't know you could feel that way. I couldn't breathe.

Of course he didn't even notice me, not until the cast party. At the cast party everyone was so excited at our great performance and that they were all running around kissing each other. During the last dance I was watching him...of course I was watching him. He looked across the room at me and our eyes locked. We just started walking toward each other and stopped in the middle of the floor and kissed. That was a real Hollywood moment. I was sure that he would ask me to go home with him or something, but of course he didn't. He just hung around with the older girls the rest of the night.

Since he wasn't in my ward I didn't see much of him for 2 and a half years. The summer I was turning 16 we happened to meet at my friend's company party. It turns out his father worked for the same company. We were at the swimming pool. My friend and I were at one end and Larry and his friend were at the other. Of course I saw him and decided to walk by him and see if I could get his attention. He saw me and instead of just saying hi, which is what I expected, he ran over and grabbed me around the waist and jumped in the pool with me. He thought I would be mad or something, but I just came up smiling and ask him how he was. He asked me if I was going to the dance that night and I said I was. He said to save him a dance.

That started a wonderful summer fling. He was working out of town for 10 days at a time and then he would be home for 4 days. We wrote when he was out of town and saw each other every night when he was home. It was a wonderful time. By the end of the summer I was beginning to feel that it was going too fast for me. After all I was only barely 16. I really think that we were falling in love and the timing was wrong. I felt like I needed to break up with him. He was preparing for a mission and I was feeling overwhelmed. I could have picked a better time though, not on his birthday!

After we broke up I was filled with remorse and wanted to get him back but by then his feelings were hurt ( rightly so) and he was busy getting ready to leave on his mission. During the time he was gone he wrote to me twice and I wrote to him in return, but one of my letters didn't get to him. I was growing up and had finished High School and started College before he came home. While we were dating he had told my grandmother that he wanted to marry me when he got home and would she save me for him. It was so cute. Everytime I would date anyone more than a few times she would remind me that I was waiting for Larry, which I wasn't! She was just doing her job.

One of the things I loved about dating Larry was his love for the scriptures. He asked me when we first started dating if I had read the Book of Mormon. Of course I hadn't, but because of him I started. He loved to work on Genealogy with me. He was always such a good example to me. I am so glad that I was in that play when I was 13, and that that handsome 17 year old finally decided to notice me. I do believe in love at first sight, it worked for me!

Dramatic Experiences

In my High School years besides being in the Orchestra I was in the Drama Club and took Drama classes. I had the opportunity of being in the senior play. I remember that I was really excited to try out. We had to prepare and sing a solo. At the time my dad was in a community theater and they were performing a musical. I learned one of the songs from his show and sang it accapella for the tryout. I was very nervous. I tried out for a supporting part but I got the lead! I don't think anyone was ever as shocked as I was. I thought only really popular girls got lead parts. I think I may have gotten the part because my drama teacher knew my dad in the theater groups he was in.

Although I was far from popular in Jr High I had come a long way from Grammar school. I had my friends and the orchestra kids were my group. I was also on the newspaper staff and in several clubs. In High School I was still sort of unknown in a school so large that my graduating class was 615 students. I was well accepted by my group and as I was once again on the newspaper staff some people had heard of me. However, I would never have expected to be able to have a lead role in the senior play.

I found out that as much as I loved acting I certainly wasn't star material. I worked very hard and although I learned my lines well and was able to follow direction I realized that I wasn't a natural performer on stage. I had a good director and he pulled me through and I was able to do well enough that the play was a success. I enjoyed every minute of it and found that what I really liked was the directing part of the theater.

When I entered college at Sacramento City College in the fall of 1956 I made Drama my major and began studying Theater. I soon became the asst. to the director and was given opportunity to direct several plays. Everything about directing was fun and I loved being in charge. I learned so much about the front of the stage and the back of the stage. I was able to build sets, be in charge of costuming, do make-up, handle lighting and many other jobs too numerous to mention. I had a wonderful director who taught me so much about how to get the performance I needed from each actor.

Being involve in Drama helped me in my self confidence and showed me that even a little girl from 8th avenue can be somebody. I was able to go on to direct many roadshows and plays in the church over the years. I loved the magic of telling a story with people as the characters.

The photo at the top was published in the Sacramento Bee.

The Ranch

When I was 17 I graduated from High School. I had not given a thought to what I would do after graduating. One of my teachers told me about a job working on a Dude Ranch in the Shasta mountains for the summer. I wrote a letter and applied for the job. I was so excited when I got the job. I had never been away from home before and I was really excited. My dad drove me up to the Ranch on the day they told me to come. His last words to me as I got ready to get out of the car were, "Ardie, I don't want you to give up on this job. You've made your decision so there is no quitting in the middle. You see it through." He gave me a hug and drove away down the dusty lane. I had a lot of respect for my Dad and I took it seriously when he gave me his advice.

I started the job and began to make friends and learn what my jobs were. It was a working cattle ranch and of course a guest ranch too. My job was cleaning cabins, cooking, laundry, cleaning up the kitchen after meals, which included mopping a huge dinning room floor, and anything else that Mr. or Mrs. Scott could think up for me and the other girls who were working that summer. The boys helped as ranch hands and were expected to do all the heavy jobs. They helped to brand and round up the cattle, take out pack trains for fishing expeditions, and saddle all the horses and lead rides for the summer guests. As time went on we girls got a chance to help with the horses and I even got to watch a branding once. I even got to learn to ride a horse and was able to go riding anytime I was on free time.

The work was hard and it soon became apparent that I was being singled out for all the hardest jobs. Even the other girls noticed it and questioned the Scotts on why I was being picked on. They explained that their son had married a Mormon and they were using me to bother her. They used the dinner table every night to heap assignments on me and persecute me about my religion. They said they were not going to pay me as much as the other members of the crew since I was giving a tenth to my church. They teased me about everything having to do with my church especially when their son and his wife were there.

In August I was allowed to use all my saved up time off to help lead a pack train high into the mountains to a lake to take some business men on a 5 day fishing excursion. I helped pack the mules, saddle the horses, and at times I was lead. It was very exciting to me, and the hardest work I had ever done. On our way down the mountain heading back to the ranch we were hit by a drenching rainstorm. I had to help get camp set up and unpack the mules. That morning I had awakened with a very bad sore throat and fever. By the next morning I was so sick that I didn't remember anything about our trip down the mountain. When we got back to the ranch The girls I worked with put me to bed, gave me some medicine for fever and reported to the Scotts that I was extremely ill. The next morning I was ordered to report to work. I was still delerious. I remember that I was on my way to 'hang' the laundry. What we did was throw the wet clothes over barbed wire fences to dry it. I guess I fainted because they found me lying in a small ditch next to the fence. I was allowed to go to my bed but was told to be back to work the next morning. This was part of the persecution I suffered while working that summer.

After I got better the Scotts threatened to send me home but the other hands said if I had to go they would go too. The Scotts had to keep me or lose their whole crew, guys and girls. I never thought to call my dad to come and get me, he had told me it wouldn't be easy and so I stuck it out. When he found out what I had been through he said he didn't mean for me to have to go through anything like that. We were on our way home when I told him and it was hard for me to keep him from going back and giving them a piece of his mind.

I learned so much that summer. I learned how to really work, and I made some wonderful friends. I learned how to ride a horse, saddle a horse or mule,and I learned how to endure persecution. It was worth it. I cherish the experience.
It's true I did get paid less, but I still had enough to pay for my first semester of college. I had grown up enough to know that I could certainly do college If I could survive a summer on a dude ranch.

Arden's Archives

It has been a long time since I posted anything on my blog, so I thought I should stop being a slacker and make an entry. This one goes back a long way in my life to my teenaged years. Here goes...

When I was in Junior High School I decided to take an instrument and I chose the cello. There are probably other reasons for choosing the cello, but the main reason was that I would not have to purchase or rent a cello as the school would furnish the larger intruments. Another reason was that I had an alto voice. You are wondering what that had to do with it so I will tell you. Many evenings my dad would sit us all in front of the radio and listen to classical music. He would have us sing the parts of the different instruments. Since I had an Alto voice I got to do the lower ranged instruments. I loved the sound of the cello and I got so I could hear that part best. Hence I chose to play the cello.

I remember one of our school concerts where my parents came to see our performance. I was so excited that my dad was watching that I got nervous and dropped my bow. Of course he wouldn't let me forget it and when he told about going to see me play he would make a big deal about how I was the only one in the orchestra that dropped her bow. (I probably wasn't the only one as this was a Junior High performance.)

Several months went by, maybe even a whole semester and I was still last Chair in the Cello section. The Orchestra director at my school suggested that I try the Bass Viol to see if I liked it better and hoping, I expect, that I would do better with the Bass. He was right! I loved the bass and had a much better apptitude for it. I was soon moving up the ranks and by the end of the school year I was about equal with the first chair and we were back and forth for a while on who was first. With the bass I actually practiced! I would stay after school in the music room and saw away learning all the music and thoroughly enjoying it.

By the time I was in High School I was consistently first chair and was chosen for All City Orchestra. I really enjoyed being in the Orchestra with students from schools all over the city. I loved classical music and still do. During my High School years I got to usher at many different musical performances at the Memorial Auditorium with my Dad.

At the end of my senior year a trumpet player in the orchestra asked me if I could play Jazz. I told him I had never done it but I bet I could. He invited me to play in his trio and thus began my Jazz career. We played for many dances and parties on the week ends. I even sang sometimes. When I started college I formed my own group and enjoyed playing most week ends. It was nice being the leader as I got a little bigger cut of the money we earned. I continued to play and became a member of the musicians union while I was in college. My 'career' ended after I was married and had a few kids.

I don't think I was ever what I would consider 'good' but I had a lot of fun and made a lot of friends. I continued playing in school orchestras thru my college years and enjoyed Symphony Orchestras as well as the Jazz music.

Update

I know if I had any following I have probably lost you with my absence from blogging. I am in Arizona helping Uncle Jack and Aunt Helen while Jack goes through Chemo. Helen fell last week and so now we have two patients. She is recovering from a broken thumb, a sprained wrist and a compressed disc injury to her back. The back is the most painful, but she is feeling some better. She should be back up to speed by the time Jack has his next treatment in a week.

As usual Larry is making the most of his time by repairing things. He fixed a broken pipe in the sprinkler system, put in a new control box and fixed a half dozen or more of sprinkler heads and bubblers. He is going to paint the bathroom tomorrow.

Helen and I have been working on her budget and getting her in a financial position so she has been able to stop cleaning offices and just concentrate on getting Jack better. I hope I will have time to at least do a few more entrys here before we go home in a month. I will try. I am being reminded daily of many childhood memories as Helen and I talk. I will try to put something together soon. Meanwhile just know that I am here and wishing I could be writing more.

Our first move to Utah

In 1958 when Jay was 3 months old we decided to move to Utah so Larry could go to BYU. We didn't have a car so we arranged with friends, Tony and Todd to pull our trailor that had all our worldly possesions in it and we all drove to Utah. When we got there we found a basement apartment to rent in Provo. We then began to look for a job for Larry so we could pay our next month's rent. It was December and we thought he would apply to BYU for Spring semester. For the whole month he went out every day looking for a job. He even tried Geneva Steel. There were no jobs to be had. When we got dangerously close to the end of the month, and the money, we took a trip to Salt Lake to see JoAnn and Ted. They suggested Larry should look for a job in Salt Lake, so he applied at the State of Utah. He got a job right away as an Engineering Aid. We stayed with JoAnn and Ted till we found an apartment. We got Ted's brother Chuck to move us from Provo to Our new apartment in Salt Lake.

When I think back on those times I can't believe how brave we were. No job, no house, very little money and no car. We were so blessed by the Lord. He provided for two very young, and very inexperienced kids.

That was the first time I had ever seen snow. It didn't snow that year until Christmas eve. We woke in the morning in our new apartment and I remember saying to Larry, "Why is it so quiet?" He took my hand and led me to the service porch that was on the apartment. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was so beautiful. Ice was on every tree and on every telephone wire. It was so quiet and so breathtaking. We didn't stay long watching because it was so cold and we were in our pajamas.

We stayed in that apartment for less than a year, but I remember it with fondness. It was there that Jay learned to sit up and crawl. We enjoyed spending time with my sister and her cute little kids. Kris was a toddler and Steven was about 6 months older than Jay. That winter I had a lot of firsts. My first time to build a snowman, my first time to see the Temple, my first time to learn to be a mom. We were so young and sometimes foolish, but we were very happy.

Our first apartment. Where it all began.

Our very first home was an apartment near downtown Sacramento. It was only a few blocks from Joanne and Ted and my folks. It was an upstairs apartment and everything was pretty small except the bathroom. We lived there about a year. Jay was about 3 months old when we moved the first time.

We loved this apartment. When we lived there Larry was the Priest Quorum advisor. I think I taught the 12 yr olds in Sunday School. Since Larry was the advisor to a bunch of boys who were getting ready to be missionaries he spent a lot of time with them. We had a ping pong table in our little front room. We always had one or two priests over. The table took so much room that you could just walk around it between the furniture. When you served on one side of the table you were nearly standing in the kitchen and when you served on the opposite end you were nearly in the bedroom.

We had a dark room in the bathroom. We were really into copying genealogy pictures for people in the stake. We also copied a couple of books for Larry's genealogy. We did all our own developing. We had a pretty good camera. We enjoyed it for many years.

Outside our kitchen on a little porch high above the ground we had a close line that reeled out from the porch. As you hung the clothes you would push the line out on a reel and then pin the next item, and push it out again, until the line was full. Of course only rich people had dryers. And we were not rich.

When we married Larry had a job selling shoes in Karls Shoe Store. We soon figured out that we couldn't pay our $50 rent and eat on what he made. He canvased a few stores in the area (we had no car) and found a store that hired him to draft rooms of furniture so they could see how they fit into offices etc. He just made up the job and talked them into hiring him to do it. That still didn't pay enough but it was a little better. I worked in a nursery school until I got pregnant and then I had to quit because of the danger of my getting a contagious desease while I was expecting. Remember this was in the days before vacinations for such illnesses as Measles, Mumps, diptheria, etc.

The whole time we lived there we had to take the bus or walk where ever we went. I was pregnant for most of the time we lived there. We loved our ward and I had many wonderful mentors who helped me learn to cook and sew. I learned to bake bread while living in this apartment. I will always be grateful for that time and remember it with fondness.

Our Wedding November 27,1957

Larry and I got married when I was 19 yrs old and he was 23. We met and dated in Sacramento. We married in the closest temple to us at the time which was the Los Angeles Temple. Not for us was the big wedding many of you enjoyed with sealing rooms full and large receptions. My grandpa Cram and his wife, my step-grandma, drove us to Los Angeles. We didn't have a car.

There were just five of us there for our wedding. My Aunt Faye Olsen came with us. She lived in the L.A. area. Grandpa was one of the witnesses and they found a brother in the hall to come in and be the second witness. We loved it. We didn't see anyone but each other anyway.

After the temple Grandpa drove us to Hollywood to a hotel. He and Grandma went back to Sacramento and we were on our own for transportation for our honeymoon. We took a bus to Long Beach one of the days and went to the fun land on the beach. We walked all over Hollywood. It was Thanksgiving time so we watched the big Macys parade.

When we got home from our honeymoon we had our reception. It was held at my aunt Marva and Uncle Bay Hutching's home. I didn't have any attendants. I didn't even have a photographer. I had asked my brother to take the photos, but he thought my cousin Bob was taking them so no one brought their cameras. They were both good photographers. Uncle Bay did get an 8 mm family movie of about 6 seconds of the cake ceremony. Sandra had the movie film made into a video for us. We have loved watching it. We got some pictures from it, but they weren't very good.

The reception was fun and we had a good crowd. One of my college friends sang for us a song that was popular in our day..."The Glory of Love” We loved it. We almost forgot the only thing my Mother asked us to do for the reception...the flowers. We both remembered it as we were going out of our apartment to go to the wedding. We stopped at a local florist at 5 pm, as they closed, and we asked if they could do a bridal bouquet and some boutonnieres and corsages. They said they were closing and we begged them and they agreed to hurriedly put together the flowers we wanted. Ah the irresponsibility of the young!